The van was spinning as my feet made contact with the floor on my waking journey from horizontal to vertical. I grabbed hold of the wardrobe door to steady myself.
I had bailed out of our intended destination in the early afternoon yesterday as I felt rough and knew I needed a bolt hole to quietly sit and recover. A vineyard on a quiet road with good exposure to the sun (needed to charge batteries in order I have good heating) presented itself and here I have stayed. With such dizziness affecting me I knew I was unable to drive and apart from taking Tanya out for the necessary, went straight back to bed. This evening, fingers crossed, I feel a little better.
I'm near 'Sigean' and even this far down nighttime temperature are still in the minus. This trip without a doubt has been the coldest of the last five years. I think it has contributed somewhat to my present feverish condition although Foxy10 has kept me warm and snug even at minus ten degrees.
I was worried in case my ailment had been left behind at 'Aix en Provence where Nephew James, wife Fran and new baby Maeve hosted a wonderful weekend where we were joined by my sister and family. A very' it's my turn to cuddle Maeve now' few days and a bonus for me on my journey South. Plus we all raised a glass to new arrival Tilley in Wales. My tenth grand/stepgrand child.
I made a phone call to my sister earlier today where I was assured both they and the 'Aix' contingent were all in robust health. A big relief especially with a new baby.
.............
I am happy to report that tonight's outside temperature is a balmy 9°c, I am feeling much better, and tomorrow we will be in Spain. Oh yes! Today has been a much better day.
A day of illness gave me chance to finish reading the autobiography 'Railway Man' by Eric Lomax. The book ends as the author finally comes to terms with the huge Mental trauma he suffered as a Far East POW. He noted how few places there are for people with such trauma (or any trauma) to be helped and supported.
Just after, on Facebook I was attracted to an article about the importance of such Mental Health support services for our emergency services who on a daily basis face trauma which gets 'stuck and mis-stored' within mind. I know the emergency service side of Mental Health very well from the Mental Wellbeing perspective of having been a counsellor involved in listening to and supporting such traumatised individuals.
The irony of the two reads and my reflective thinking is I have a historic 'traumatised' perspective too. I took early retirement due to the effects (flashbacks, nightmares, inability to cope etc) of trauma. For me it was a combination of secondary trauma, from listening and supporting front line emergency service clients. This then became mixed with my own personal journey as my dearly loved wife Kate travelled through cancer to it's inevitabe and final end.
Now I was aware of what was happening to me. I was also very well supported both professionally and family wise yet those mental effects lingered on for approximately two years, certainly well into my first years of living and travelling in a Mororhome. Only now, in hindsight and after giving reflective time such as this do I understand how deeply such mental trauma affects. And lets face it my healing path, unlike many, has not been dysfunctional, well, not if your a Motorhoming Hermit Pensioner Hippie with a dog that is.
We are asked these days to talk about Mental Health in order to continue to remove fear, stigma and quite frankly, the bullshit surrounding it. So thank you for reading my little bit toward normalisation of Mental Health issues and I do recommend 'Railway Man'. A good read.
Right. Spain it is then.
2 comments:
Sorry to hear you've been unwell - hope the recovery continues apace.
Lovely to hear of the new addition - I remember meeting James last year when he was moving in. Please pass on my congrats on the new arrival, hope they don't need to move again!
I too have PTSD - even as a mental health practitioner it took me 17 years to recognise the worsening symptoms - but some excellent counselling and some "memory moving" put me back on the right path and enabled me to achieve my long held dream of motorhoming my way through retirement. Think I will always have the "odd moment" but I know now how to handle those days. I'm not afraid to admit that I've had mental health issues - if anyone wants to stigmatise me or make me feel ashamed they can try ... I've lived through shit but my mental health is now probably better than theirs and I'm stronger for it.
Stay well Steve, and woofs to Tanya from Daize and I.
Hi Steve, sorry you (and Tanya) had a'lurgy' - dizziness is horrid - so take care and take it easy - no more slithering and sliding thru the wind and snow I hope - have you got to warmer climes now?? thanks for blogs - makes for good reading with the adventures you have had .....lotsa love Judith x
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