GATEWAYS

"Ohhhh Sh**!" I started to sprint back toward the gateway fully alerted by the strident sound of a foghorn atop an empty and very large articulated timber truck.

Sadie was beautifully parked right in front of the locked gate, now being unlocked, by a not too unpleasant or irate looking lorry driver. In fact he turned out to be quite obliging and recommended I park inside the gateway to have my lunch while he loaded his lorry from the stacks of timber neatly piled along the sides of this large curved concrete track on the Stourhead  Estate in Wiltshire. It looked to me like there used to be an Old wartime airfield there.

I was heading up the A303 on my way to Salisbury. It was lunchtime and Tanya wanted a walk. I hate stopping in lay-bys on main roads hence Sadie being parked in a deserted gateway on a tiny road with high hedges and no other distinguishing features. Apart that is, from it being close to the A303 on a quiet Friday afternoon

Gateways and me seem to be developing an 'interesting and eventful' relationship. This was now the second time since owning Sadie that blocking a gateway had caught me out. It was no particular problem this time as the lorry driver enjoyed our chat and as I said earlier, was obliging.

The story probably would have been  different had I not been able to return to move Sadie within a couple of minutes.

The first incident was a bit different.

I was on my way down from Scotland and had been visiting friends and family in and around Gloucester. I knew the area well as I had previously lived and worked nearby.

I had stayed too late with some friends. It was now dark and well past the time where I could have called in a favour with another good farmer friend who had plenty of room to park Sadie.

I headed up Crickley hill and pulled into the large parking area at Birdlip Hill.

A meal was soon cooked and all was snug and warm but it was becoming apparent that this was the chosen meeting place for the local youth and their 'rev me to death' cars. I guess I had also given them a new game to play called, 'Lets see how close we can drive to a motorhome while manically shouting obscenities out of the open car windows'.

Uh oh! Time to exit. The beauty of a motorhome is you can do exactly that easily and quickly.

Ah ha! But it was now late and where was I to go. A gateway to an old and disused timber yard not far away came to mind. Off we go. We straight away miss the turning and are committed to a road far too narrow for a rather large A series motorhome. I was now tired, fed up, and it was late at night. I resorted to playing the loudly voiced obscenities game as I inched through narrow lanes bounded by high Cotswold stone walls.

We eventually found the gateway and deposited one thankfully unscathed Sadie into it. I shut up shop and went to bed noting the peace and silence outside.

"OI! You can't park there, this is a working yard, it's 7am and I want you out of this gateway NOW!"

Well he was right. It was 7am and as I blearily stared outside at the bitterly cold morning I could also see he was right about it not being an old and disused timber yard anymore.

"F*****!" I muttered as dressing gown was hastily flung on, blinds cleared from windscreen, engine started, gateway cleared and Sadie temporarily parked on the verge. I then exited to give my apologies to one irate timber yard owner.

I suppose it must have been about twenty minutes later when timber yard owner, who was comfortably seated in his nicely heated Toyota pick up, decided he really was a busy man and must now end this amiable chat, unlock the gate and start his days work.

I by this time, having been standing out in the cold with only thin dressing gown, slippers and not much else, was frozen to the core.

I was extremely relieved to finally climb back into Sadie, move her to a lay-by further down the road, turn up the heating and thaw out with a hot cup of tea.

Tanya of course found all this most amusing. Especially the part where I had unceremoniously picked both her and her bed off of her usual night time roost of drivers seat and hastily flung her onto my bed. As I, uncontrollably shivering by this time after the 'amiable' chat, clambered back aboard Sadie. Tanya remained fast asleep curled up on MY pillow. She did not even raise her head to see who was invading her domain!!

These things usually come in three's.  Methinks I will be very wary of gateways for a while!!